Thursday, June 14, 2012

What Comes Before Happiness?

I have thought for quite a long time that happiness just is. It comes. It goes. And, there is really not anything that we can do to create it. The more I read, the more I find authors who echo this or outright say it themselves. I have thought that contentment is the state people should be striving for rather than happiness.

Happiness almost seems to have its own agenda—one that clearly has nothing to do with our wants and desires.

Yet, we all have moments of happiness, whether great or small. It seems often to sneak up on us. Or I suppose I should say it seems to sneak up on me as I cannot really speak for anyone else about how and when they feel happy. It seems to me that happiness is a sea that we float in but do not seem to recognize.

Happiness is key in America, after all people feel that it is guaranteed to us; however, as the commencement speaker at the recent Wellesley Massachusetts High School graduation ceremony pointed out, the Declaration of Independence says that we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not happiness itself, but the pursuit of it. But does actively pursuing happiness make it more elusive? 

So, what does come before happiness? Letting go of the need to be happy? Learning to live our lives without fear and anxiety? They certainly chase happiness away, although we can have moments of happiness in the midst of trouble or grief. I can remember in the months after both my parents’ deaths having moments of joy that was beyond happiness in the midst of my double grief. My parents died seven and half days apart, and I suppose in some way this stripped things down to the bare bones of emotion, possibly opening a door for joy and happiness to leak through if I stopped trying to fill myself up again.

What else comes before happiness? Recognizing that life has its up and downs? And recognizing that we only add to the pain by struggling rather than breathing deeply and calmly to find our way through the trouble? I suppose the trick is to stop struggling against an unwanted situation that you are in while at the same time working to change it.

Do we need to replace ill-will towards others with goodwill towards all, goodwill meaning that you wish everyone well so that all live with ease and have what they need? Do we need to let go of grasping and wishing that we were someone else or had someone else’s life? After all that cannot happen—we can only be ourselves living the life that we have right now, moving on the path that we are on. Do we need to let go of wishing we had more money, that we were thinner, healthier, smarter, or whatever quality it is we wish that we were?

My angels and guides tell me almost every day to go, do and be. I notice that they do not say go, do and be happy. They just say to be. Maybe that is part of the magic of becoming happy.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Kathryn Samuelson is an intuitive who channels messages from your angels and guides through spiritual or automatic writing. She is also a life coach certified by the University of New Hampshire through its Professional Development Department. Kathryn does workshops based on the set of meditation cards and book called Opening the Heart: Meditations on How to Be that she created with her friend, Linda Lewis. For more information: http://www.kathrynsamuelson.com/, klsamuelsonATyahoo.com, or 781-799-7332

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