Robert defined unavailable as: Married, Narcissist (the world orbits around him/her), Addict, Emotionally Unavailable, Locationally Unavailable, Gay or Straight When You're Not
He calls it a pattern or archetype embedded in our psyche from an early age as a means of survival in the family structure. Robert says that our internal guidance system is brilliant, because it consistently attracts the same type of person. In this case, someone who is unavailable. The issue is self inflicted. He says that the Unrequited Lover, on an subconscious level, doesn't really want an intimate relationship with someone. They prefer safety over vulnerability. Those who choose unrequited love learned early that showing their heart...their vulnerability meant rejection and pain. To stay safe, they choose partners who they KNOW won't ask them to show their most intimate selves. In essence, they manage their relationships...in a most efficient way.
When we enter into these unrequited love relationships, we're unplugging from our own feelings. Robert says that if we want to make a shift, we must do some work to stay connected to ourselves...our feelings...our radar. If we're awake, we can plug into our own guidance system and examine our own sense of self worth and what we do to devalue ourselves. When we do the inner work, we weed out these unsatisfying relationships before they ever get to the unrequited stage.
What I got from Robert's show was that we first need to acknowledge we're in the Unrequited Love Zone. Then we need to ask ourselves, Are we REALLY just trying to play it safe? Turn on our guidance system and have the courage to weed out the bad apples once we see the big ugly unavailability bruise. If we refuse to accept what we don't want, we have a greater chance of getting what we do want...a Requited Love with real intimacy--a relationship that reflects our true value.
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Copyright© R. Ann Rousseau. R. Ann Rousseau reviews spiritual metaphysical books on her blog http://www.explorebeyondtheusual.blogspot.com/ and website http://www.explorebeyondtheusual.com/ She has completed her first novel Portsmouth, A Love Story.
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